The Things I Hate About Customers

- When they fucking drop their food directly after you've served them...
and it's not as if you didn't hand it and it slipped. They've been holding onto it firmly for at least 30 seconds and BAM right on the tiled floor.

- People who unwrap their slurpee straws and leave them on the counter. Like fuck you, so badly. Is it that hard to walk to the bin? Or, even to just hand it to me?

- People with really thick accents who order something and get offended if I don't understand...
Seriously though. When COKE and CONE sound exactly the same IT'S NOT MY FAULT~

- People who get offended when you say 'Was it Coke with that?' and answer with a pissed of voice 'No, Sprite'. And they do this face >:
Fuck off. Do I look like I'm psychic or some shit?

- When they complain about someone else "pushing" in. Fuck off. If you didn't look like you knew your order right away I'm not going to waste my time for you to go discuss with your shitty little kids whilst I could be serving someone else.

-Adults who think it's cute to ask their children what they want when there is a massive queue behind them. YES YOUR KID IS ADORABLE, to other people. BUT I'M NOT OTHER PEOPLE AND I HATE CHILDREN.

-People who add shit on after you've processed things through- 'Oh, sorry, can I not have pickles?' Bloody 5 minutes after.. AND the burger has already been made. NO, NO YOU CAN'T NOT HAVE PICKLES. WANNA KNOW WHY!? BECAUSE IF YOU REALLLLLY DIDN'T WANT PICKLES YOU WOULD HAVE SAID SO....TEN MINUTES AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!

-People who order Oreo McFlurries.
I hope none of those people expect it to be properly "flurry-ed" during peak hour. Because, I am not standing there allowing all the Drinks and Desserts to build just so you, the customer, can enjoy an ice-cream dessert with a smooth consistency!

-'Fries with no salt, please' =.="

-'Family dinner box, please' =.="

- When they pull out there little bag of coins during peak hour to pay for a $20+ meal...
OH MY GOD.

There are many other things that are BAD about working at McDonalds. But, those are just the ones I experienced today. :

'MY cat has a fatter head!'

I love to gloat. I love the thought of gloating. BOASTING about all the great things that have happened to me....

I rarely do. But, when someone. Oh just someone you REALLY DEEPLY hate just walks past and you've beaten them at a sport. Your mouth opens for a split second and you suddenly turn into some barbaric whore.

and first it starts off small like 'hahahahahaha' and suddenly it just gets louder and louder 'ahahahahahahahAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH'
Soon you don't even have ANY control over what the hell is coming through your mouth and you're fucked.

Cause then after that moment you're labelled. Everyone hates you.

So in the end you don't gloat, you suck on that 'reward'... a 50c cent ice block [the green one, obviously.. cause all the other flavours are shit] and stick to the hypothetical gloating circulating in your head.

Everybody can gloat. Very few can put up with someone elses gloating.

I'm so awkward I don't even need other people to make things awkward.

AU HAW HAW HAW BAGUETTE

Don't French people ever find it annoying that people always insist on wear freaking barets, whenever they visit their country?

"We are more than just the baguettes [which taste very good], barets and french kissing? :("

It's like when people visit Australia and expect me to be all up there grills with my hardcore 'Aussie accent'

And tourists always do the:

"G'Day Mattee! Did you go ride to school on a freakin' emu? And, eat crocodile for lunch [with a side dish of koala droppings garnished with some bush tomato sauce?"

And I'm all:

"Please, go die..."

No, just because I live in the country doesn't mean I follow the stereotype persona. I'm definately no Steve Irwin and as far as I'm concerned I don't have a bogan accent.

Pregnant, you say?

If you're pregnant

...please don't tell me.

I just imagine you and your partner having sex.

And, sometimes my brains goes off on a tangent...

Some pretty fucked up shit goes down on your babies conception [in my mind]...

Light saber dildos, cucumbers, edible lube and for some reason a goat playing a guitar, as a cat is stroking its ball-sack.




mmmmm...cucumbers. I wonder if this edible lube is hommus flavoured?

I love you.

Can people stop saying 'I love you'?


I bet your thinking why, Rebecca? Why would you request to destroy one of the most beautiful phrases in the world?

Can I say 'saranghae'?

No.

J'adore?

Silence! Small, fuzzy, peach man. Let me explain...

I hate when you do something- like tell a heaps epic joke and then some bastard goes 'OMG I LOVE YOU!'

WHAT DO YOU SAY AFTER THAT?!

I love you too?

That phrase is on the same level as 'You're so funny'. Now everything I do after that phrase has to be equal to the funny-ness of the the joke pre-phrase.


I bet everytime someone says that phrase some creep jumps out from the bushes and releases a bunch of crickets...



And, then some babies die.. don't ask why.. They just do.


I love you/You're so funny = The Most Awkward Moment EVER!


[and a truckload of Gay babies are consequently concieved. Swaying the ratio of gay v.s. straight population to 50:50 GAY RIGHTS MAY BE JUST AROUND THE CORNER GUYS KEEP THOSE MOMENTS AWKWARD]

The life of Barry the Banana [an excerpt]

Bananas are those yellow penis-shaped things. It leads a rather average life, although people are confused exactly of its orientation- is it a herb? is a fruit? And, it's like "Hell niggah. Me both!" [because that what a banana would sound like if it spoke].

Sometimes life gets tough for bananas; especially with its doppleganger: the penis. One day some smart-ass decided it would be hilarious to practice sticking a condom on it...many innocent bananas, have thus, died.

To help the bananas that are getting raped by ravenous, horny year 9ners call:
1800-there-are-many-other-things-that-are-penis-shaped

Together, we can find an alternative and help save bananas for what they supposed to be for... eating. One motherfucking, bad-ass banana split at a time.