I love you.

Can people stop saying 'I love you'?


I bet your thinking why, Rebecca? Why would you request to destroy one of the most beautiful phrases in the world?

Can I say 'saranghae'?

No.

J'adore?

Silence! Small, fuzzy, peach man. Let me explain...

I hate when you do something- like tell a heaps epic joke and then some bastard goes 'OMG I LOVE YOU!'

WHAT DO YOU SAY AFTER THAT?!

I love you too?

That phrase is on the same level as 'You're so funny'. Now everything I do after that phrase has to be equal to the funny-ness of the the joke pre-phrase.


I bet everytime someone says that phrase some creep jumps out from the bushes and releases a bunch of crickets...



And, then some babies die.. don't ask why.. They just do.


I love you/You're so funny = The Most Awkward Moment EVER!


[and a truckload of Gay babies are consequently concieved. Swaying the ratio of gay v.s. straight population to 50:50 GAY RIGHTS MAY BE JUST AROUND THE CORNER GUYS KEEP THOSE MOMENTS AWKWARD]

The life of Barry the Banana [an excerpt]

Bananas are those yellow penis-shaped things. It leads a rather average life, although people are confused exactly of its orientation- is it a herb? is a fruit? And, it's like "Hell niggah. Me both!" [because that what a banana would sound like if it spoke].

Sometimes life gets tough for bananas; especially with its doppleganger: the penis. One day some smart-ass decided it would be hilarious to practice sticking a condom on it...many innocent bananas, have thus, died.

To help the bananas that are getting raped by ravenous, horny year 9ners call:
1800-there-are-many-other-things-that-are-penis-shaped

Together, we can find an alternative and help save bananas for what they supposed to be for... eating. One motherfucking, bad-ass banana split at a time.

shakespeare ftw.

So much shit comes out people's mouth nowadays that you can never tell if they're being geniunely sincere or just a giantic douche, trying to 'get some'.

Sometimes I wish I was stupid; naive. That when someone said "You look really pretty" "Your buttons look really... good." I actually believed them.

But, I know guys; I've spoken to them. And they know that there exists a people who are dumb enough to believe the bullshit that comes out of their mouths.

And I hate them for it. They have ruined compliments for me.

I hope they meet someone who doesn't believe they're corny lines "Your eyes are lode-stars; and your tongue's sweet air more tuneable than lark to shepherd's ear"

[I wish boys quoted Shakespeare. It'd be like BANG! Clothes off.]

They will be stuck.

Boys should keep compliments for people they love. You can't use the same line for someone you love and someone you're just trying to fuck- it makes the line lose meaning.

Joys.

Life just seems to be working right now. All the pieces of the puzzle are falling in the right place. I'm the fat kid that can have the cake and eat it.

Yes, something is bound to go wrong.. but, why be pessimistic? Why view the glass half empty?

I say the glass is always full, even if only half. Let them eat cake.

See what materialistic possesions bring? Happiness.

Best things in life are free my arse.