Life is pretty shit. Literally.

You've held on for what seems like an eternity, but you can't for any longer. You're pretty much one hundred percent sure you're sphincters are at their last stretch and any moment now they're are going to cop out on you.

You rush into the closest, hopefully deserted toilet and... Well, it comes rushing out...
Then suddenly you hear nearing footsteps, the familiar squeak of a toilet door opening.
Your bowels clinch shut. Like hell are you doing your business with another human present.

You hold on. Face red with the exhaustion and pressure. The person finishes in the cubicle next to you, makes a snide remark on the stench. The turn on the tap.

SHHHHHH.

With such precision you time your bowl evacuation to correlate with with sounds of the tap.

When it finishes- so do you.

The person shuffles out briskly and you can almost gurantee they were holding their breath.

You finish up and feel a sense of relief wash over you.
You giggle to yourself for the poor fucker to has to come in next and reach for the flush.

You push down. Nothing happens.

You try a few more times, getting progressively more violent. WHY WON'T YOU WORK!?!?!
A little man inside you're head is screaming nooo NOOOOOOOOOOOO whilst banging his forehead viciously against the flush button.

You remain calm. And, go into ninja stealth mode...