Life is pretty shit. Literally.

You've held on for what seems like an eternity, but you can't for any longer. You're pretty much one hundred percent sure you're sphincters are at their last stretch and any moment now they're are going to cop out on you.

You rush into the closest, hopefully deserted toilet and... Well, it comes rushing out...
Then suddenly you hear nearing footsteps, the familiar squeak of a toilet door opening.
Your bowels clinch shut. Like hell are you doing your business with another human present.

You hold on. Face red with the exhaustion and pressure. The person finishes in the cubicle next to you, makes a snide remark on the stench. The turn on the tap.

SHHHHHH.

With such precision you time your bowl evacuation to correlate with with sounds of the tap.

When it finishes- so do you.

The person shuffles out briskly and you can almost gurantee they were holding their breath.

You finish up and feel a sense of relief wash over you.
You giggle to yourself for the poor fucker to has to come in next and reach for the flush.

You push down. Nothing happens.

You try a few more times, getting progressively more violent. WHY WON'T YOU WORK!?!?!
A little man inside you're head is screaming nooo NOOOOOOOOOOOO whilst banging his forehead viciously against the flush button.

You remain calm. And, go into ninja stealth mode...

The Things I Hate About Customers

- When they fucking drop their food directly after you've served them...
and it's not as if you didn't hand it and it slipped. They've been holding onto it firmly for at least 30 seconds and BAM right on the tiled floor.

- People who unwrap their slurpee straws and leave them on the counter. Like fuck you, so badly. Is it that hard to walk to the bin? Or, even to just hand it to me?

- People with really thick accents who order something and get offended if I don't understand...
Seriously though. When COKE and CONE sound exactly the same IT'S NOT MY FAULT~

- People who get offended when you say 'Was it Coke with that?' and answer with a pissed of voice 'No, Sprite'. And they do this face >:
Fuck off. Do I look like I'm psychic or some shit?

- When they complain about someone else "pushing" in. Fuck off. If you didn't look like you knew your order right away I'm not going to waste my time for you to go discuss with your shitty little kids whilst I could be serving someone else.

-Adults who think it's cute to ask their children what they want when there is a massive queue behind them. YES YOUR KID IS ADORABLE, to other people. BUT I'M NOT OTHER PEOPLE AND I HATE CHILDREN.

-People who add shit on after you've processed things through- 'Oh, sorry, can I not have pickles?' Bloody 5 minutes after.. AND the burger has already been made. NO, NO YOU CAN'T NOT HAVE PICKLES. WANNA KNOW WHY!? BECAUSE IF YOU REALLLLLY DIDN'T WANT PICKLES YOU WOULD HAVE SAID SO....TEN MINUTES AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!

-People who order Oreo McFlurries.
I hope none of those people expect it to be properly "flurry-ed" during peak hour. Because, I am not standing there allowing all the Drinks and Desserts to build just so you, the customer, can enjoy an ice-cream dessert with a smooth consistency!

-'Fries with no salt, please' =.="

-'Family dinner box, please' =.="

- When they pull out there little bag of coins during peak hour to pay for a $20+ meal...
OH MY GOD.

There are many other things that are BAD about working at McDonalds. But, those are just the ones I experienced today. :

'MY cat has a fatter head!'

I love to gloat. I love the thought of gloating. BOASTING about all the great things that have happened to me....

I rarely do. But, when someone. Oh just someone you REALLY DEEPLY hate just walks past and you've beaten them at a sport. Your mouth opens for a split second and you suddenly turn into some barbaric whore.

and first it starts off small like 'hahahahahaha' and suddenly it just gets louder and louder 'ahahahahahahahAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH'
Soon you don't even have ANY control over what the hell is coming through your mouth and you're fucked.

Cause then after that moment you're labelled. Everyone hates you.

So in the end you don't gloat, you suck on that 'reward'... a 50c cent ice block [the green one, obviously.. cause all the other flavours are shit] and stick to the hypothetical gloating circulating in your head.

Everybody can gloat. Very few can put up with someone elses gloating.