I would be the WORST teacher. Period.

I want to become a teacher, and before you go ahead and shake me violently, give me a nice square slap across the face and yell "WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYY?!?!", let me explain.

I LOATHE teachers who lie. Here is a perfect example:

*teacher walks past artwork*
Teacher: Wow, Rebecca, this looks great. It's wonderful.
Me: *mutters under breathe* right.....

And the truth is the artwork DOES look shit. The perspective is all wrong, one eye is bigger than the other, one leg is longer than the the other and the face looks like a fucking peanut. In other words your attempt of Realism looks more like a Picasso drawing. [Way to juxtapose, Rebecca]

I want to be the teacher that breaks boundaries. Who goes:

"You know what? You're right. It does look like shit."

And, my god, parent-teacher interviews would be the highlight of the year:

"Your kid is.... a turd. I skid mark on the underwear of society. You may call them 'special' but to me they're just another little shit I have to deal with on a daily basis. Clearly, he/she is mentally retarded, spends wayyy to much time trying to be a slut then being smart and if their was a school for whores they would, indefinitely, get a scholarship."

At my school, there would be more children going to the coucillsor then class. But, hey, at least I would be doing something for the "troubled youths of society".

Presents.

Buying presents for people is one of the worst things in the world.
What if they don't like it?
What if it looks like shit?
What if people get more expensive/better presents than me?
What if mine's not sentimental enough?

Moolah= little to no effort
Soap= insult to their hygiene practices
Clothing= you don't like the way they dress
Tie= really?

I know people say "it's the thought that counts" but, honestly, that quote is for parents when their kid gives them a drawing of them naked and happy birthday spelt
"HapI BiRfDay".

OR, maybe, just maybe, I'm over thinking this a tad bit much?

Into The Wild.

Happiness is only true when shared.













































[Don't you ever forgot this Rebecca.]

Dear Ulcer,

I've grown to accept my tongue ulcer. I'm calling it names, clothing it and bathing in bath milks and salts.


Ha. I wish.




Dear Ulcer [or Moby,

Fuck Off

Yours Sincerely,

Rebecca




If it read this and gets offended. I'm sorry ok? I don't think you even know what
it's like to have an ulcer, ulcer?
Ha. Oo pulled that card on you, didn't I?

I AM NOT SICK!!!

Whenever I'm sick I always try and convince myself I'm not. Yes, I know, you get days off school when you're sick- But honestly? Who wants to be unwell. So I start a series of lame attempts to prove to myself I'm not unwell.

1. Doing exercise- Oddly enough this is NOT what I do when I am feeling fit as a fiddle but for some reason, in my head, it rectifys to me "good health"

2. Eating foods you know you shouldn't. For example: Right now I have a sore throat and I'm eating Grainwaves...
"Your throat doesn't hurt"
"It doesn't?"
"No! SO EAT THE GODDAMN GRAINWAVES!!"
"*whimpers* But I don't like grainwaves"
"YOU'LL EAT IT AND YOU'LL LIKE IT"
Later I just sit there. My throat feeling all hoarse and dry.

3. Not sleeping
"You know what healthy people do?"
"No?"
"Have all nighters"
"No they don't"
"Are you arguing with me?"
"No....No....O_o course not.."

4. Socialize. The number one thing NOT to do when you have a headache. You just mumble a few words and then pass out. It's wonderful :)
[That or you vomit on them]



Then after all this...... I admit I'm sick and take a shitload of vitamins. YAY VITAMINS!



"GET WELL SOON REBECCA."
"Is this you sucking up to me?"
"No *suslooktotheright*"
"THANK YOU!! *nervousbreakdown*"
"I said "get well soon" not "let's have a nervous breakdown on my shoulder"